Thursday Morning - Winter is Coming, October 15, 2015

• I'm not grateful for insomnia.  The loss of sleep is also the loss of energy and of a vibrant day.  But I am grateful for the quiet time that is found when the whole world is sleeping between the hours of 3:00 am and 6:00 am.  Ambulances still go by on my street - but their loud sirens are silenced.  There's no foot traffic or laughter or yelling in the city streets around the house.  My cats are generally in the basement for the night so that they can enjoy their nocturnal shenanigans, which means that even the inside of the house is still.  I'm grateful for that stillness and quiet.  

• My friend Alex, is one of my Big Brother Gays.  Not in that he's all knowing and watching like the Orwell story (though he can be a know it all), but in that being around him has typically felt like the comfort of having an older sibling.  Who is also gay.  Who is also bigger than me (he's 6'4).  I'm grateful for our afternoon coffee break and chat yesterday afternoon.  We talked about break ups, and companionship, and families and also about drag because it's the time of year in DC (MAMP is coming, y'all).

• Reese is maybe ten weeks old.  She is brand new. She's the second daughter of my work wife, Lisa - whom I no longer work with.  But, Lisa and Phoebe and I had lunch at District Taco yesterday, and sweet baby Reese came in her stroller.  She was asleep for most of lunch, but she smiled with her fat baby cheeks and occasionally looked over at me with her wise eyes.  She is just the sweetest little peanut, I can't even believe it.  It was lovely to have lunch with Lisa and Phoebe, but really - Reese is the quiet storm of the bunch.  

• Missy and Sean are hovering over me.  There are texts, and calls and emails.  They are pointedly being present while I'm a little sad, which is a blessing (and I don't even use words like blessing, so there's that.)

• Vespers.  I also don't use words like vespers, but I'm grateful to have stumbled upon them last night.  Walking home from the gym, I was thinking that what I'd most like at that very moment would be to have a quiet sit in the soft pink sanctuary of All Souls.  I walked a little bit out of my way to go by the church, and there was a sign saying that Vespers were starting in 32 minutes.  I soaked in the quiet, and felt better.