The little I've read about practicing gratitude for the benefits that researchers are just beginning to understand is that there seems to be something about being specifically grateful for some good things each day that makes the whole thing work. So, my tangible gratitudes on this Monday evening are, in no particular order:
- The hour I got to spend watching the new Netflix Tales from the City Update. One of my longterm shortcomings as a gay in the know is that I've never really cracked the cover in a meaningful way on Armisted Maupin's classic (there's a good chance I just butchered his name, and I'm too tired to google the actual spelling). And, if we're being honest, this current series is only ok. But, the stories are both all queer (or queer agecent) and also largely focused on middle aged and older people who are still vibrant and active in life and in each other as a tribe. It's comforting to watch, and on a Monday night after a long weekend on the road and a semi busy day at work, having some queer art to fall into while I made healthy food for the week and straightened the house, grounded me and brought me back into my own skin that was...soothing. (Literally, as I typed the word soothing, a bang went off in my alley, and I refuse to look and see if it was a firework or a gun).
- Dan is someone who has grown into my life in large and small ways over the last four months. We dated for a couple of months last spring, and he ended things saying he wasn't sure we were a fit and I didn't really look back much from there. But then we ran into each other at the gym in March, and started sleeping together again. But, somewhat unexpectedly, we started not sleeping together too. I spent the day after Pride when were both hungover melted into his couch with him. We check in each night about the day say sweet dreams. He is my date this 4th of July, which will be our first national holiday together. The whole time we've been dating this go round, I've been clear with him that I'm trying to move to Chicago in the not so distant future and he in turn is trying to do the same, but in New York. Friday night, while I was at the beach, he called from New York to say that the interview he'd had that morning had turned into something -- they made him an offer on the spot and he's leaving by Labor Day. I'm having feelings about his departure, that are letting me know that I've got skin in the game on this one. It's been a little longer than I care to admit since I was in a thing that actually pulled at me like this, and I'm happily accepting the bitter and the sweet tonight.
- My friend Dane is a gay in my office. I think he's cute in a way that I hope doesn't get me an HR file. But, more importantly, he's also smart and very kind. We had drinks a couple weeks ago on Pride weekend. He mentioned that his team - he's part of the Education program, which is much more conservative than the Environmental program I work on - is preparing to move a not small grant to the Heritage Foundation. Heritage is a classically antigay think tank. They're smart enough to not say things that directly malign or attach LGBTQ people directly - they just defend the rights of those who are trying to deny us any legal rights or protections. The education team supports them as a way of staying close to the Trump administration on education policy. Dane and I did a call together this afternoon with the head of People & Culture for Walton, who also happens to be gay. I think we were all three nervous in different ways. Rustin is in a tough spot as someone who seems like he's genuinely with us, but also can't make any promises. Together, we were smart and productive and I spent more than an hour tonight working on a follow up memo. I'm grateful for clarity I feel in my gut about this, as well as the people who are in the fox hole with me.
And with that I'm off to bed, as tomorrow morning will be an unmitigated disaster. MWAH
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