At 38 and eleven twelfths, I've led a mostly lucky life. I've never wanted for food or security or a place in the world in the way that most terrorists seem to. It doesn't mean in any way that I condone their approach, but at least I understand the differences in our experiences. Don't spend much more time on them - they're broken and are choosing to break others. They're not worth the pain they cause.
My family and friends have been a constant in this life - and I will be forever grateful. At her 90th birthday, my Grandmere gave a toast, and said "In this room there are family who are friends, and friends who are family - I'm lucky to have both." Me too. I suspect, and hope, that in the event of a tragedy it will be the faces of many loved ones that I'll be thinking about.
Please, someone feed my kitties, and give them a good home. Gus (Guster) is a little bit of a biter, but it's just because he's a boy and has a lot of playful energy. He loves to take naps and cuddle in the afternoons, which is pretty much the entire reason I decided to get cats. Zuzu is sweet and skittish, but is also crafty and a constant watcher.
To whomever cleans out my house - I apologize in advance that it's not cleaner or more organized. Take what you like, and please know that from the great beyond, I will appreciate any efforts made to keep as much as possible from going into landfills, and instead going to people who will love and use these things that have been mine for a while.
As for my actual human remains: I don't like cemeteries. Life and our time here is temporary, but once you put someone in a box in the ground, they seem to have claim to that spot forever - or at least, for an outsized portion of time compared to our lives. I'd prefer to be cremated. I'll leave it to my family to decide where to spread my ashes - though I'd be partial to water somewhere. Maybe the Old Graue Mill near my house where we grew up, or Lake Michigan, or a sparkling bit of ocean somewhere. Also, none of that open casket business. I don't want someone doing my hair and make up - unless it's a full on drag queen (in which case: have at it, ladies).
The big lessons of my life are eluding me right now, as I sit here at my desk...typing in the middle of the day. I know that there should be more words in the English language for "Thank you." I tried to find the right balance between work and play - and working while playing - but it's a slippery bugger of a question. I'm grateful to have mostly had work that in some way helped (I hope) make the world better, and introduced me to some of my dearest friends. To date, I haven't found a relationship that's lasted, but I have loved and been loved by some great men - that's no small thing. My parents, grandparents, and an extended family of aunts and uncles and cousins and siblings have always made me feel cherished, and I hope I've returned that affection in good faith - you're a good bunch. My friends, far and wide, have been among the great joys of my life - thanks for the laughs, the smart talking, the dancing, the shared beers, the occasionally yelling, and - as Josh Ritter says "the joy in the joyful and the laughter in the grief." All of it.
The last word: I have long maintained that if my time comes before that of most of my friends and family, I would do my absolute best to be a world-class haunter. I plan to keep my word on that. Please know that when you hear the door slam in the middle of the night that scares you half-to-death (or any similar ghostly shenanigans, for that matter), and brings forth a flight-or-fight style scream...it's just me sending my love and having a laugh at your expense from Over Yonder.
Be and do good - as much as you can. Try not to hurt anyone. Hope you fall in love. Say thank you, and always bless people when they sneeze.
That's really it. No regrets worth mentioning. Cheers. Thanks, and MWAH, M.
No comments:
Post a Comment